A love story - part 2

If you have read part 1, then you have an idea about how the outside world perceived the little family. They would look at the loving father who was taking care of their son while the mother was moody and cold. They would see how the mood of the mother was affecting the situation and the son. But let's take a closer look at the dynamics. What was really going on?

After they got married things started to change. Steve began to speak down to Emma and when they were arguing he called her names such as 'cunt', 'dickhead', 'shitty mother', 'unintelligent'. The list was long. 

The first time he called her 'cunt' she was shocked and felt extremely hurt. How could someone she loved this much suddenly call her that? She had never tried this before and it took her days to get over. Steve did not seem to be participial effected and was back to his usual mood of love and laughter towards her. When she confronted Steve with how she felt about his behavior then he said that she was too sensitive and the fact that she was holding a grudge showed him that she was a little person with low self esteem. 

This happened only once or twice a month that year but then the episodes occurred more frequent. Emma began to question herself. Was it her that was wrong? She found herself shouting horrible things back at Steve during the arguments, things that would hurt him, things she would never have said before. Perhaps she was the problem? Steve seemed to get over things quickly whereas she was effected for a day or more after their arguments. 

After the heavy arguments and name callings Steve usually wanted to make up with sex. Emma hated this. The last thing she wanted was to be close to him after he had called her horrible things but she had also learned that if she said no then Steve would punish her for days with the silent treatment or even worse, he would be more short tempered with their son. This caused Emma a lot of emotional pain. So when Steve was looking for being intimate then these scenarios went through Emma's head and often she went along with it to avoid Steve's reactions.

He never hit her but somehow she was feeling worse over time until one day she looked herself in the mirror and no longer could relate to the woman looking back at her.

If this is a situation that you can relate to or if you know someone who is in a similar situation then call or write to me to arrange for an appointment. I am here to help and we can talk in person or online.